As a native of Japan who is bilingual in Japanese and English, I have encountered countless number of expressions in English that were not easily translatable into Japanese (and if you do translate, it sounds so awkward that it wouldn't make any sense). One of those phrases that I have heard many of you say (and I have said myself) that I wouldn't know how to translate into Japanese is "the ball is in your court."
According to Cambridge Dictionary website (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/ball-is-in-court), this phrase is defined as "if the ball is in someone's court, they have to do something before any progress can be made in a situation." As a recreational tennis player, I think I understood what this phrase could mean, without having to look it up in a dictionary. I've often used this phrase myself in my conversations with my clients, colleagues, friends and family members. As a "Type A" person, I do not like leaving the balls all over my court unless I absolutely have to. Thus, I have rarely been at the receiving end of this phrase. Lately, however, I have found myself wishing I had more balls in my court that I can hit. I have been bombarded with situations in which, as the aforementioned dictionary says, THEY (not I) have to do something before any progress can be made.
Have you been sending hundreds of job applications to potential employers, but haven't heard from any of them?
Are you waiting by the phone for your recent date to text you, after you sent your date multiple texts, but your phone is staying silent?
Have you started your own business, printed your business cards and handed them out to every person you encounter, launched your business website, attended networking events, and done all the "right things" you're supposed to do to attract new clients, but your inbox remains empty?
If you have been in any of these situations (or something similar), it sounds like you've hit a lot of balls to your "opponent" (whether it be a potential employer, a potential significant other, or in some ways, "the universe") and have run out of balls to hit. What is it like for you to be in an empty court with just you and your racket only, waiting for any balls you can hit, but there's no signs of any balls coming into your court? Excruciating, isn't it? I know it is, at least for me--as I've been there myself throughout my life here and there.
So what can you do when you don't have any balls to hit in your court? Here are some of the strategies that have, at least for me, given me some relief. Some of you may have already tried these, and if you did, good for you. Keep trying.
Focus on things you DO have control over.
Unless you could go outside of your court to pick up the balls you can hit to your opponent yourself, you can still work on your swing, stretch your legs, run back and forth to keep your heart rate up, or just chat with your doubles partner. While you're at the mercy of your opponent to hit the balls into your court to get the game going, there are still things you do have control over. At least for me, it feels more productive to focus on what I do have control over, versus what I do not have control over.
View it as an opportunity to spend your time and energy on things you’ve neglected when you were busy. While you're standing in the middle of the court, waiting for the opponent (or anyone) to hit the balls to you, you're likely fully immersed into your role as a tennis player. Most (if not all) of us, however, have multiple roles and identities outside of what we are doing at a particular moment. As much as I'm a therapist, I also have many other hats that are just as important--a parent, a spouse, a supervisor, a cook, a colleague, or a karate student...just to name a few of my life roles outside of my office. As much as I'm a licensed clinical psychologist, I am also Japanese, "Zen Christian," heterosexual cisgender male who is able-bodied and about half century young. When you're feeling stuck in one area of your life, removing yourself from that area and paying attention to other areas / roles of your life (which deserves as much attention as any other aspects of your life) certainly wouldn't hurt. If you feel stuck in your life circumstance, despite having hit all the balls in your court out, sometimes having a teammate you can talk to might help you get through the doldrums of your life. As a psychologist, I have played as a "teammate" of my clients in countless doubles matches, and embraced my role--whether it be through me pointing to places where balls can be found, or simply meeting my partners where they are at and "shooting the breeze" (another English expression that is non-translatable) on the philosophy of tennis. #tennis #theballisinyourcourt #stuckinlife #control
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